7 Sure-fire Ways to Kill Your eBay Business

If you do any selling on eBay, or even if you’re just starting out, I’m sure you know that “the devil is in the details.” There are so many things to take care of, and you’re often worried about a hundred things that might fall through the cracks. There’s listing items, answering questions, shipping… and the list goes on.

So instead of worrying about all of the things that could go wrong, I’ll tell you exactly how to kill your eBay business.

1. Don’t Care About Your Titles
Just toss some random words up there. Don’t put the brand name of your item in the title. Who cares if people can’t find your auction? Don’t use all 55 characters. Don’t care about the spelling. Use words that no one would ever search for like: “L@@K” or “WOW”

2. Take Really Blurry Pictures, Or None At All
Don’t worry if you can’t tell what it is. Make it a mystery so your customers work to figure out what your item is. And make sure the really important details are obscured or not even in the picture. Or just don’t bother taking a picture at all.

3. Sell Junk
Don’t worry about what you sell. Put worthless items up on eBay and hope they sell. Put that flea market special up for $100. Put broken items up on eBay claiming they are top quality. Get some knock-offs and sell them as the real thing. Don’t worry about what your customers think, and let the buyer beware.

4. Don’t Care About Your Description
Go ahead, lie about the item. Say it works when it doesn’t. Say it’s in perfect condition when you wouldn’t sell it to your worst enemy. Don’t tell them any measurements or facts about your item. Use lots of mysterious abbreviations that makes you look like you know what you’re talking about. Give them useless information that nobody cares about.

5. Don’t Talk To Your Buyers
Sending messages are a waste of time. If your customers are asking questions, they’re probably too dumb to buy anyways. Your business should be entirely automatic. Everyone should just buy and ask questions later.

6. Make Your Listings Ugly
Make your font bright yellow on white. Use 6-point font. Who cares if you can read the text, anyway? It’s not that important. Add little animations and flashing lights. Give your customer a headache. USE CAPITALS! Add some really obnoxious music that automatically plays.

7. Have Your Auctions End At Strange Hours
Why not have your item end 4am? You’re sure that everyone will stay up all night until the auction ends. They have nothing better to do anyways. Why bother figuring out the best time to end your auction?